Mr. Sorrow

Crafting who I am

Describing who I am

Loathing who I am

Trying to understand who I am

Will alter my grip on my psyche

 

Breathing is something I try to do everyday

Sometimes I am mesmerized by my  effort to breath

My peace of mind can be overcome by dismay

My dismay towards succeeding

 

Whimpering when I am injured

Injured by life’s greatest efforts to create misery

Misery, a word I avoid and a feeling I hate

Degradation of my value is not my own doing

 

Know I am not weak, but rather embrace my weaknesses

Facing the crow that is the embodiment of fear

Pecking graphically at my core which I protect oh so dearly

Words of worry and dismay pour out of me like hot oil

It comes out of me with great force like a Tsunami induced by nightmares

 

Listening to others express their concerns 

Concerns for the troubles that have become

A part of love and trust with a significant other 

Leaves me alone in the dark with no sense

Of what I have or want

 

Painting this canvas with layers

Layers so thick I cannot peel them by hand

I beg other forces stronger than me for help

I cannot reveal my true self without you

Wherever you may be know I am not ok

I have never been ok

 

Losing sense of worth or valor

Is not uncommon to me

But it is not the only thing in me

Then again it does consume me

In a way I wish it never did

 

I can never forgive myself

For how I have and do feel

But I do forgive myself for having those feelings

Who I am is of no importance or matter to you

Which I accept because I already accept myself

I am not distracted or fearful of what I truly feel

I am however far from ok

 

I am Mr. Sorrow

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