Art of Letting It Go Part 1

For years I’ve held onto things and people that I thought were holding me back from taking control of my life. When really, I was holding myself back. I was too cowardice to take control of my life. I thought that if I disappointed others who helped me become who I am today, that I’d get nothing but guilt for being selfish. You can be selfish in a good way. Do what makes you happy regardless of what it does to others. Yes, it’ll hurt them, but it will hurt you more if you don’t make hard decisions that could further your life instead of backtracking it.

I’ve spent my whole life looking at fear as this negative dark entity that has its claws deep into the flesh of my heart. Making me a worrier and overthinker. People ask me why I’m teetering on certain decisions. I always say: “I don’t know.” I do know, but my emotions are so entangled that those decisions become impossible for my psyche to make clear. Part of me says “Don’t do it, they’ll be mad at you.” The other part of says: “So what? Won’t you be upset you didn’t do it sooner? What are you waiting for?”

At this moment I’m still learning to let go. Let go of the negative connotation of fear. I haven’t even thought of that word in a long time. I don’t know when I’m going to fully take control of my life, but I’m aware enough to know that is what I have to do in order to be happy.

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