My Heart

You bleed dry ash filled water

Pumped through tasteless peanut brittle dry veins

You beg for love like a dog begs to come back inside,

But I tell you I can’t love you

 

When love from another to you dies

Without you, its best to cry hot blood

To feel some kind of warmth,

Some kind of familiar sour taste

Not one of wine or favorite candy from moments after birth

But one of your own essence

 

You realise you are not longing for lost love,

That left you like a sobbing silhouette

That doesn’t want anything to do with you

It’s being with the vessel of your true self

That you fear the most

Because you never met him

 

This muscle that keeps you close to pain and misery

Wants to explode them in your face

Over and over again

In the hopes you’ll bleed out tar coated swill

Vomit haunted air pockets

Begging to escape your unsaturated veins

 

I lay on the ground as red rain pours on me

Coloring your blue and grey flesh

My lips  widen and crease into a bloody happy smile

Where you once sat lifelessly outside of my chest

Bones crunch and crack out of the way

For you to go back home

 

A familiar sweet nectar fills my body like a pinata

This moment, as wonderful as it is, may not last forever

Or stay longer, for I am no great host, nor is certainty

Please just be happy we have it.

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