Hypocrite, I am

Opinion on who you are

Reveals my greatest sin

A sin unforgiven

By an angel so far

 

I cannot fathom

Who I am nor who I’ll be

People converse what they cannot foresee

Their hypocrisy they cannot soften

 

To say I am different

To say what is right and wrong

To say I am decent

Is to say “Hypocrite, I am”

 

Seeking sources to enrich my vocabulary

To seem academically  in tune with myself

Is nothing but a lie that barely fits on my sorrow filled shelf

Disguising my vocabulary as rich  is contrary

To the lack  of knowing what life really is

Hypocrite I am

 

Continuous search for understanding

Life as it is, was, will be or never will be

Leaves me on my dead feet in the still  night complaining

I complain in silence to avoid the pin and needle filled tree

A tree in such pain it sings with screams of relentless sorrow 

 

I blame others for this neverending

Incubus when I am its creator

I calm myself through words and sing

To my psyche to create or rather grasp onto valor

 

Please don’t leave me to believe

To believe I am right

To believe I can conceive

An enchanted vision that I can defeat who I am in a fight

 

Rather, tell me I’m wrong

Tell me I can be amoral

For I am far from being strong

Me and I will always quarrel

However, it is with certainty I say

Hypocrite, I am

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